NEW ! break-thru pseudo religion created ! (includes conspiracy-theory about German banana market)

NEW ! break-thru pseudo religion created ! (includes conspiracy-theory about German banana market)

Here are two e-mails I got as response on my posts on the nose-monkey from Borneo and his engrams (while having sex, makes get their nose pulled by competing members, which influences our sexual abilities and gives us colds). I also explained that those monkeys cannot be fed bananas, because their bellies would expand (they cannot digest bananas) and they will finally explode.

Author is an274865@anon.penet.fi (Andrew McPherson), posted with permission.

[schnip]

Dear Tilman,

I am rather new to this show as an active poster, having followed ars for quite some time though.

First of all let me congratulate on your major find of the true time track of us all!

Tilman, when you start to develop a pseudo-religion, and you may not know this, you first have to develop a proper cosmology, then some secrets and then the cure to the invented cosmology you are intenting to sell for the real thing. So let me help you with that.

COSMOLOGY:

Now I finally understand what people mean when they say "don't stick your nose into this". It is, subconsiciously, a reminder of the terrible incident which happened some million years ago, when Boozoo, the leader of the Great Galactic Empire, decided to rename the capital from Marcab City to Banana city.

Revolt broke out, so that Boozoo called all banana space transporters together, packed millions and millions of galactic citizens into them and then shipped them to planet earth, which at the time was the key source for bananas in the galaxy. Bananas were not simply growing, I mean the trees were GROWING!!! Even higher than the buildings you Germans are now building in Berlin. So moving your capital to Berlin may be nothing than some politicians' dramatization of the PROBOSCIS MONKEY IMPLANT! - Back to the true track record: So now the galactic citizens were on planet earth. Here then they ware subjected to banana rain. For days and weeks they were flooded with peeled bananas and forced to eat them. As they were stepping on each others' toes and being stacked together on their noses as well, man developed those huge noses! Then, after some of the poor captives became too fat the first explosions occurred. This set off a chain reaction of explosions until finally all victims had exploded and thus also taken down the banana trees. This is what christians refer to as "the flood". It was a flood of fluidized bananas. Plankton of course then carried within its molecular structure the banana implant.

So on earth there really are two people living, Xenuists and Boozooists.

SERVICES TO BE OFFERED:

The spiritual healing processes are quite simple and consist of these steps:

1. If you could talk to a banana, what would you say? (Repetetively to EP). 2. What would you be willing a banana to say to you? (Repetetively to EP)

3. What problem could a banana be to you? 4. What problem could you be to a banana?

5. What has a banana done to you? 6. What have you done to a banana?

7. How could being yourself make a banana right? 8. How could a banana make you right?

The Cleared banana cognition is: I am a banana!

Advanced banana procedures:

Find all the body bananas which are stuck to your body. Good hunting!

EP: Able to peel bananas without spiritual side-effects.

Recent news: The European Community has decided to limit the import of bananas from certain South American regions. Instead bananas of former French colonies are being given preferential status. Those bananas are said to be much smaller than the South American ones. How come nobody to this date has read the sign correctly? - Banana souls have taken over control!

Hope the above helps you in developing the full religion. Long live the banana!

Andrew

---





>Tilman, when you start to develop a pseudo-religion, and you may not know

>Tilman, when you start to develop a pseudo-religion, and you may not know
>this, you first have to develop a proper cosmology, then some secrets and

>this, you first have to develop a proper cosmology, then some secrets and
>then the cure to the invented cosmology you are intenting to sell for the

>then the cure to the invented cosmology you are intenting to sell for the
>real thing. So let me help you with that.

>real thing. So let me help you with that.

(...)


This is cool - you should post it to the net ! (If I post it, you would
sue me for copyright violation !). I am sure me and others will develop
that religion. a.r.s. has a history of pseudo-religion, like Jeff
Jacobsen's "sucker pullers".


>Recent news: The European Community has decided to limit the import of

>Recent news: The European Community has decided to limit the import of
>bananas from certain South American regions. Instead bananas of former

>bananas from certain South American regions. Instead bananas of former
>French colonies are being given preferential status. Those bananas are said

>French colonies are being given preferential status. Those bananas are said
>to be much smaller than the South American ones. How come nobody to this

>to be much smaller than the South American ones. How come nobody to this
>date has read the sign correctly? - Banana souls have taken over control!

>date has read the sign correctly? - Banana souls have taken over control!
>

>
>Hope the above helps you in developing the full religion. Long live the >banana!

>Hope the above helps you in developing the full religion. Long live the >banana!

You are right on that one. I went to the market saturday, and thought
about the collective banana engram. The banana fruit has a very strong
meaning for germans: when the wall came down, they were all eating
bananas, because they were not available. For me, although I am from the
west, bananas are a sort of "national fruit".


The EEC raised the taxes on bananas, although this was strongly opposed
by the chancellor personally. Result: bananas now cost 50% more, and
sales went down. (They did cost DM 2.- per kilo, now they cost DM 3.- )


Tilman




---

Dear Tilman

Thanks for your reply and comments. The EU banana law was undoubtedly influenced by the scienos. They are known to solve their problems with exorbitant prices and/or price rises. In March and April of this year they upped the prices for their books by two times 10%.

Go ahead and post my banana cosmology and therepy options! I currently have problems posting stuff to ars. When I sent you my original banana mail I at the same time sent three (more serious) contributions to ars via anon.penet.fi. None of them have appeared. Have the scienos found a way to filter what is being sent from Finland?? [no. It's a newsfeed problem]

Andrew

--- Tilman Hausherr          [KoX]

biz:  tilman@sietec.de                 <a href="http://www.sietec.de/">http://www.sietec.de/</a>(company page)
home: tilman@berlin.snafu.de           <a href="http://www.snafu.de/~tilman/">http://www.snafu.de/~tilman/</a>


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