Re: M276R - Whole Track Sec Check

In <172346Z25061995@anon.penet.fi> an105662@anon.penet.fi (The Squirrelle) writes:

A sudden desire to make a parody has come over me. I guess I've been watching too much MST3K lately. :)

> For processing use only. Use only about midway on Routine 3 and from
> then on.
> (These questions have been contributed by Jan and Dick Halpern.)
> L. RON HUBBARD
Wow, this stuff is so bad that even Elron didn't want to have to take credit for it...

> Whole Track Sec Check
>HCO WW Sec Form 4
>Have you ever enslaved a population?
>Have you ever implanted anyone?
Have you ever planted anyone, you know, like in the police? Have you ever wished you could implant anyone? Have you ever dreamed about implanting Nicole Kidman?

>Have you ever sunk, or otherwise destroyed, a non-combatabt vessel?
Have you ever sunk, or otherwise destroyed, a non-existant vessel? Have you ever sunk, or otherwise destroyed, your credibility? Have you ever been a non-combatant vessel? Have you ever been non-combatant?

>Have you ever abused hostages, or prisoners?
Were you good at it? Would you like to do it again? Would you settle for parishoners instead of prisoners?

>Have you ever ordered, or yourself committed, genocide?
Have you ever ordered pesticide? Have you ever ordered pesticide on David Miscavage's pizza?

>Have you ever annihilated a population?
>Have you ever poisoned food or drinking supplies?
Have you ever poisoned clams?

>Have you ever strangled anyone?
>Have you ever deliberately spread disease?
Have you ever deliberately spread smooth and creamy canned cheese? Have you ever deliberately spread Spam(tm)? Did you actually eat the Spam(tm) afterward? Did you associate the use of the term Spam(tm) with the Internet?

>Have you ever degraded a religion?
Have you ever degraded a cult? Have you ever degraded a non-profit organization? Have you ever degraded something the IRS has declared a religion? Have you ever degraded something the U.S. Courts have declared a religion? Have you ever degraded an exam? Have you ever biodegraded?

>Have you ever raped a child of either sex?
Have you ever paid millions to avoid allegations of raping a child? Do you sleep "innocently" with children? Do these questions make you want to "Scream"?

>Have you ever warped an educational system?
Did you make any money? Did you convince people it was scientific? Did you convince people it wasn't religious? Did you find a way to use galvanometers with dictionaries? Have you ever warped your microcomputer? Have you ever warped your starship? Is the starship suspiciously like a DC-3?

>Have you ever deprived people of hope?
>Have you ever committed murder?
>Have you ever destroyed a culture?
Have you ever created a culture in your refrigerator? Did you throw it out? Do you think that was fair game?

>Have you ever forced anyone into an undesired beingness?
Have you ever forced any words into undesired suffixes? Have you ever forced any words you couldn't believe you uttered? Have you any idea what "beingness" is? Can you explain the difference between "being" and "beingness"?

>Have you ever stolen a body from another being?
Was it good looking? Can I audit it, too?

>Have you ever destroyed an economy?
>Is anybody seeking to discover your whereabouts?
Is anybody seeking to discover your whereabouts to serve a felony warrant? Are you in the NCIC? Is your warrant on the record? Do you have any friends in the LAPD? Have you ever modified police records? Have you ever stolen 911 tapes? Have you ever accessed police records illegally? Have you ever forged police records?

>Have you ever violated a nation's neutrality?
>Have you ever broken a treaty?
Have you ever broken a fingernail?

>Have you ever blanketed bodies for the sensation trick?
Have you any idea what I mean? Have you done drugs lately that make you think you know what I mean? Do you get the idea I'm being covertly sexual? Want to go back to my place?

>Have you ever upset an ecology?
Have you ever upset a theology? Have you ever gotten upset from proctology? Do you own a copy of "Vibeology"?

>Have you persecuted others for their religious or political beliefs?
Have you persecuted others for persecuting you? Have you accused masses of unrelated people of persecuting you? Have you prosecuted others for your religious beliefs?

>Have you ever interfered with the free flow of trade?
>Have you ever been a crook?
Have you ever owned a dog named "Chuckles?" Have you ever used Memorex? Do you find it difficult to not accidentally hit the erase button?

>Have you ever obliterated a language?
Have you ever obliterated a language throughout a ten-volume work? Have you ever obliterated a language and called it a religious text? Have you ever obliterated a language and called it a technology?

>Have you ever stamped out a religion?
Have you ever stamped out a religion in a weekend? Have you ever stamped out a religion on your electric typewriter? Have you ever stamped out a religion to avoid taxes or prosecution?

>Have you ever deliberately trained people in untruths for power, or profit?
Did you convince them it was gospel? Did you convince them to sing gospel? Did you convince them they were good at singing gospel?

>Have you ever defiled religious places, persons, or objects?
>Have you ever practised terrorism?
Have you ever practised copyright terrorism? Have you ever practiced terrorism from your keyboard? Have you ever practiced before committing terrorism? Are you James T. Kirk, renegade and terrorist?

>Have you ever done anything you would not like to think of yourself as having
> done?
Did the last question remind you of your mortgage?

>Have you ever been a coward?
Have you ever been non-confront? Have you ever neglected to answer questions? Have you ever purposefully ignored questions? Have you ever caused questions to be asked of you because you did something you would not like to think of yourself as having done?

>Have you ever trapped a thetan?
Did they exterorize to get away? Did they exteriorize with vinyl siding? Have you ever trapped a Beta? Does it still record? Is Beta better than VHS? Is Theta better than VHS? Do you still have an operating Beta? Do you still have an operating Thetan?

>Have you ever prided yourself on your wickedness?
>Have you ever destroyed artistic productions, or creations?
Have you ever copyrighted artistic productions or creations? Have you ever registered your copyrights? Have you ever copyrighted your trade secrets? Have you ever sold your copyrights? Have you ever sold your trade secrets? Have you copyrighted SCAMIZAT? Is SCAMIZAT your trade secret?

>Have you burned literature?
Did it burn well? Was it worth more as kindling than as literature? Did anyone complain about the smell? Have you ever shredded literature? Have you ever shredded financial documents?

>Have you ever forbidden people to practise their own customs?
Have you ever forbiddedn people to cough? Have you ever forbidden people to contact their families? Have you ever been to the Forbidden Planet? Was Xenu there? Have you ever worked on the Forbin Project?

>Have you ever perverted a people's customs?
Have you ever been perverted with a customs agent?

>Have you ever done anything which you hoped would be wiped out by the passage
> of time?
Have you ever done anything that time's passage will wipe out?

>Do you deserve to be punished into eternity for something you've done?
> If so, what is it?
Does it involve rice and beans?

>Have you ever exposed infants?
Have you ever slandered infants? Have you ever dead-agented infants? Have you ever changed an infant's diapers?

>Have you ever bred bodies for degrading purposes?
Have you ever bred with another body? Was it degrading? Did you think of Nicole Kidman while you did it? Did you think of Eugene Ingram while you did it? Did you think of Woody while you did it? Were you Woody while you did it? Did you have a woody while you did it?

>Is there anything you would have done differently if you had had more data?
Is there anything you would have done differently if you were Data? Do you know how to analyze data? Do you think that analyzing data involves your rectum?

>Have you ever forced beings into unwanted bodies?
Have you ever forced beans into unwanting bodies? Have you ever forced beans into rice?

>Have you deliberately prevented beings from exteriorizing?
>Have you done anything to a person, group, or thing that wasn't deserved?
>Have you ever deserted a just cause?
>Have you ever debased a nation's currency?
Have you ever defaced a nation's currency? Have you ever been debased by a nation? Do you owe lots of a nation's currency to Wollershiem? Do you have a thin dime I could borrow?

>Have you ever deliberately tortured someone?
>Have you ever enslaved another being?
>Have you ever gained, or maintained, a position by portraying yourself as
> victimized?
>Have you ever undermined a people's trust?
>Have you driven anyone insane?
Have you driven yourself insane? Are you insane? Are you inane? Are you a pain? Does it rain on the plain in Spain? Is the plane in Spain a DC-3?

>Have you ever been a professional prostitute?
Have you ever been a professional pimp? Have you ever had charges of being a pimp dropped against you? Were you a good pimp?

>Have you ever been a criminal?
>Have you ever trained people for criminal purposes?
>Have you ever been a pervert?
>Have you ever recruited anyone for an unworthy purpose?
>Have you ever traded in others' bodies for profit or power?
>Have you ever stolen a mock-up or facsimile?
Have you ever created a mock-up of facsimilie? Have you ever made a similie? Have you ever smiled? Are you slimy?

>Have you ever usurped a location?
>Have you ever made things scarce so that you might profit unfairly?
>Have you ever made a practice of creating emergencies?
Have you ever made a practice of creating hemorroids? Have you ever made a practice of smearing bleeding hemorroids on walls? Have you ever made a practice of creating facts? Have you ever made a practice of creating book sales?

>Have you ever practised human sacrifice?
>Have you ever assumed a beingness which was not rightfully yours?
>Have you ever killed the wrong person?
Did you go back to get the right person? Did it bother you at all? Is your aim usually that bad? Would you mind travelling to California?

>Have you ever punished an innocent person?
>Is anybody looking for you?
Is anybody looking at you? Is everybody looking at you? Is everybody out to get you?

>Have you ever denied yourself?
Have you ever denied being yourself? Have you ever wished you could deny yourself? Have you ever wished you could deny your existence? Have you ever denied owing millions of dollars? Have you ever denied being part of Scientology? Have you ever denied being a religion -- you're an "applied religious philosophy"?

>Have you ever betrayed yourself?
>Did you come to Earth for evil purposes?
Is your Schwartz bigger than mine? Did you come to Earth in a DC-3?

>Have you ever acted contrary to your own principles?
Were you able to cover it up later?

>Are you in hiding?
Are you repetitive? Do you repeat yourself? Is your beingness repetitive? Are you redundant? Do you say things over and over again? Are you obsessed with your redundant repetitiveness?

>Have you ever made a planet, or nation, radioactive?
Have you ever written a book about radioactivity? Have you ever studied radioactivity? Have you ever passed a course involving radioactivity? Do you think you're immune to radioactivity? Are you willing to touch-assist Chernobyl?

>Have you ever wrecked a climate?
>Have you ever systematically set up mysteries?
Have you ever systematically set up sci-fi stories?

>Have you ever made nothing of yourself?
Is there nothing to make of yourself? Are you nothing? If so, how an I auditing you?

>Have you ever enturbulated an orderly environment?
Did it cause remarks about your panties?

>Have you ever pretended to a power you did not possess?
Can you exteriorize? Right now? No, really, if you wanted to, could you? Could you prove it? Are you afraid to prove it?

>Have you ever stolen ships, draft, vessels, or vehicles belonging to a
> government?
Have you ever tried to overthrow a government? Have you ever tried to be a government?

>Have you ever disappeared?
>Have you ever killed your own body?
Did you use a .45?

>Have you ever pretended to a knowingness you did not possess?
Have you ever pretended you could speak English?

>Have you ever caused a planet to disappear?
Have you ever caused a street number to disappear? Have you ever caused Andrew Milne to disappear? Have you ever caused Vera Wallace to disappear? Have you ever caused Chris Miller's credibility to disappear? Have you ever caused a plate of rice and beans to disappear?

>Have you consistently practised sex in some unnatural fashion?
Was it good? Can you show me how?

>What question should be on this check for others?
Did you remember to sign your check? Will this check bounce?

>Have you ever caused your own side to loose?
Did you call it a big win? Did it involve a deposition? Did it involve security procedures? Did it involve a big-shot lawyer?

>Have you ever manipulated beings as though they were MEST? [Matter, Energy,
> Space and Time]
>Have you ever deserted, or betrayed, a great leader?
>Have you ever sought to convince beings that they were MEST?
Have you ever heard of General Relativity? Do you think that you cannot be made of matter, energy, space, or time? Do you think you exist? Do you really think this helps?

>Have you ever tried to persuade others there were thoughts they mustn't
> think?
Have you ever tried to persuade others not to think? Have you ever tried to persuade others that Elron thinks for you? Have you ever thought yourself?

>Have you ever denied others a redressment of grievances?
Have you ever denied the Supreme Court? Do you recall a phrase about thin dimes? Do you have a spare four-and-a-half million dollars?

>Have you ever tried to give sanity a bad name?
Have you ever tried to give insanity a bad name? Have you ever been a reason for insanity to have a bad name?

>Have you ever warped, or distorted, bodies for sexual purposes?
Have you ever folded, spindled, or mutilated bodies for sexual purposes? Have you ever folded, splndled, ro mutilated computer punch cards? Have you ever folded, spindled, or mutilated U.S. Mail? Have you ever removed those little tags from your mattress?

>Have you ever made love to a dead body?
Would you like to? Would you settle for just a skull? Do you mind if it makes love back?

>Have you ever made MEST guilty of harming you?
Have you ever let MSH be sentenced guilty of helping you?

>Have you ever pretended to be unable to repair a form?
Have you ever pretended to be unable to doctor a form? Have you ever managed to successfully forge a form? Do you know how to fill out a form?

>Have you ever demonstrated that communication is impossible?
Was this list part of your evidence? Why not?

>Have you ever withheld useful data?
Have you ever withheld the truth? Do you consider the truth to be useful data?

>Have you ever created chaos?
Have you ever created smores? Have you ever created spores? Have you ever eaten clam dip?

>Have you ever consistently made a practice of furnishing useless data?
Was the useless data contumelious?

>Have you ever convinced another he was guilty of a crime, or misdeed,
> which he had not in fact committed?
Have you ever accused another of being guilty of a crime or misdeed which he had not in fact committed?

>Have you ever practised medicine unethically?
Did the FDA call you on it? Did they win?

>Have you ever practised law, or jurisprudence, unethically?
Have you ever practised law, or jurisprudence, ineptly? Have you ever used six law firms to sue one person?

>Have you ever been a pimp?
Were you convicted? Have you ever been a private investigator? Have you ever been to Florida? Have you ever been to Washington? Do you lie to grandmothers? Do you know anything about interstate trafficking of stolen merchandise?

>Have you ever given spirits an evil reputation?
Have you ever given Xenu an evil reputation? Have you ever given Marcabs an evil reputation? Have you ever given clams an evil reputation? Do you know what a Marcab is, anyway?

>Have you ever eaten a human body?
>Have you ever eaten the body of a member of your own species?
Have you ever eaten rice and beans? Have you claimed it was of your own free will? Do you really think it helped you?

>Have you ever been a dishonest policeman?
Were you convicted? How much did you cost? Will you take a check?

>Have you ever put up a discreditable creation?
Have you ever made a religion out of it? Have you ever claimed it was scientific truth? Have you ever claimed it was a bridge to salvation? Have you ever claimed it was a bridge to salivation? Does the thought of profits make you salivate?

>Have you ever been a religious fanatic?
I'm sorry, I mean, have you ever been a scientific fanatic? Really sorry, I meant, have you ever been an applied religious philosophy fanatic?

[etc etc.] -- --Rob Levandowski Computer Interest Floor associate / University of Rochester macwhiz@cif.rochester.edu [Opinions expressed are mine, not UR's.]